uganda: coming home

on january 26th, i was back at the airport in charlotte, 

being greeted by the 3 people i love and missed the most,

kissing and hugging and inhaling them back into reality...

and then before i knew it, we were in our little 1950s home,

my sweet family together again, and everything was just as it was before.

except for me.

i cried when i first walked in our house,
feeling a bit guilty for all the times
i've whined and pined for more closet space and a mudroom.
i thought about the woman in pugwini
who kindly welcomed us in her home,
a round, 1-room hut with dirt floors
and her family's clothes stretched out
on top of the thatched roof to dry in the blazing sun.
there was not a single window in her home,
and it was situated in the middle of the bush...
how happy she was to have company that day.

the first couple of weeks back,
i struggled with feeling inadequate in my everyday life.
you see, in uganda, we were constantly doing and going.
and there was a purpose.
we needed to get medicine to as many people as possible,
we needed to pray with them,
we needed to help the sports outreach staff.
we were there on a mission to be
the hands and feet of Jesus to the ugandans,
and it felt amazing to be a part of something so purposeful.
not only that, but as a woman,
being in constant community for 11 days,
and being intentionally relational with everyone,
every moment of every day,
was truly fulfilling.
it's what i was created to do,
and i drank up every minute of it.

so it was a pretty big buzz kill
to come back to the chores of regular life.
driving the kids to preschool,
folding endless amounts of laundry,
and going to the grocery store
did not seem intentional, purposeful, or relational at all...
 more like stagnant, mundane, and pointless.

the team began emailing one another
soon after we all got back into our routines,
sharing similar stories and trying to
figure out how to process everything.
i found some comfort knowing i wasn't
the only one struggling with the re-entry into regular life.
and it soon became clear that
yes, i can absolutely be intentionally relational
in the midst of everyday life.
it will look a little different here, though...
like, for starters, making eye contact with the lady
behind the checkout counter,
and taking the time to ask how she's doing.

it's hard to believe my time in africa
has already come and gone.
it seemed like such a long process just
to get there, and now here i am,
one month on the other side.
i'm so thankful for the Lord's protection, and that
my doubts and fears and all those what-if questions i had
prior to going didn't amount to anything.
i'm eternally grateful for His relentless pursuit of me,
and how He knows the precise ways to speak to my heart.
i feel so incredibly grateful for those who supported me
and my family, both financially and prayerfully.
i'm thankful my children will grow up knowing
that going on a missions trip to africa - or anywhere -
is totally do-able, and worth every penny and sacrifice.
and i'm grateful that my husband had the courage to say
"go, we'll be fine. you need to do this,"
and that he could believe it.


*these images were taken on our last evening, 
at the farewell dinner given to us
by the sports outreach staff in kampala.